Barking and Marking

Can I say how much I love our poodles, first?  They're sweet dogs and will absolutely give you sugar until you pass out (I don't know why doggy kisses would do that, but whatever).  They do have their faults, though, and they're really, really, really hard to overlook.

1.  They bark at everything.  I'm not kidding- if you open a door and they hear it, they bark.  The same goes if a car pulls up outside, you close the fridge too loudly, knock something over, etc.  Literally, if they hear anything other than everyday breathing, they yap!  I don't know exactly why they're so vocal, but I don't think it's anxiety or anything like that.  I've been looking online for solutions that don't involve surgically removing their bark boxes or shocking them every time they make a sound. 

 This is what I've found so far (and get this- it's all at Petco):

The above Pet Corrector pretty much is a can of compressed air.  It releases a burst of air that creates a hissing noise.  It's supposed to startle your dogs into realizing that the barking or other bad behavior is, well, bad.  I'm not sure if this would work for my pups because they're very, very stubborn.  Also, one of them is prone to seizures and I'm scared that this sudden spray of cold air would force him into one.

Next, there's the Gentle Spray Bark Collar (pictured below).

I kind of like this one because it's around $70 (cheaper than a cruel shock collar) and it uses natural citronella to keep the pups from barking.  When they do decide to yap, the collar releases a spray of the citronella (as pictured on the right).  It is very powerful to them because of their sensitive noses.  Eventually, they'll get that when they bark, there's a powerful smell that they don't like.  I like this method, for the most part. (Unfortunately, I'd have to buy three of them!  Yikes!)

2.  The boys pee on everything!  It's like a turf war between papa and pup and it's super annoying, not to mention disgusting.  We've found their "markings" on everything from rugs and end tables to the door frames.  I know I've had enough and the stress isn't good for my grandmother.  I'm skeptical about this first one.  Sprays and liquid solutions are always a little... unreliable?  It's rare when one actually works.

   

See what I mean?

It even looks like it came straight off an infomercial!  I'm not usually one to judge, however, so I might give it a go.  It's only $10 so if it doesn't work... it's not like the collar.  It won't be a serious loss.  (P.S.  You're supposed to spray this on previously soiled locations.  Isn't the point to keep the floor dry and free of puddles?)

Next up is something I'd never really thought about or heard of, for that matter.  It's called a Belly Band.  Well, isn't that charming?

The band, as you can see, covers up their little... man swords (thank you Hollywood Undead for that term)... and they're unable to mark their territory.  It just velcros on and off so when they go out to actually potty you can remove it.  When they're inside, though, and it's a no-pee zone, they're literally prohibited from tinkling everywhere.  I really like the idea and the only concern I have is this; does it cause any intestinal damage?  I wouldn't be putting it on tightly enough to actually cut them or put intense pressure, but it would have to stay on, right?  I know my dogs will definitely try to get it off at first, so it has to be tight enough to endure their scratching and whatnot.  Other than that... well, I see this being a near-future purchase.  Look out, little sprinklers!

3.  The last problem I actually haven't found a solution to (other than the obvious).  They want to be fed from the table.  I admit, this was our fault and it started with Emma Grace.  She was just so darned cute and looking up into our faces with wide puppy eyes, framed by fuzzy puppy afro... can't you see the temptation?

     

So, um, now all three poodles expect table food.  Sometimes when they're really hungry, they'll eat from their bowls.  It has to be human food, though.  No dog food allowed.

    

 Their diets usually consist of freshly cooked chicken or beef, green peas or beans, and a sprinkle of cheese.  That's a delicacy they will not do without.  I've looked everywhere for some tips on how to solve this issue, but have come up empty handed.  All I can think of is locking them up when we eat and putting them with some dog food.  My theory is, they'll get hungry enough and eat it. 

    The only problem with that is the possibly of them either starving themselves to death or getting malnourished in the process.  That's not healthy for any living creature, but I don't really see another way.  

Oh, me and my doggy dilemmas...