(Just as a warning, this post may be longer- much longer- than normal.)
I want to make something of my life. I have a fear of rejection and socializing (to some degree), but two of my biggest fears are of dying alone and not making something out of my life. By dying alone, I don't mean, like, unmarried or anything like that. I just mean, perhaps, being home alone and passing away. I'd like for someone to be there holding my hand. As for accomplishing something, well, I don't see myself curing cancer or anything like that. I do, however, hope that I make an impact. That at least a small group of people remember my name; that I'm a role model for future generations. I don't want to be like the average person.
There's nothing wrong with the basic, you know, grow up, get married, have kids dream, but that's not for me. My grandparents were married at sixteen and had two kids. One died at the age of sixteen in a car accident, leaving my dad. Neither of them, or my dad (or even my mom, until recently) went to college. They all held down manual labor jobs and had to work hard for everything we've got.
Now, there's nothing at all wrong with that. I'm actually very proud of my family for making it the honest and right way; without stealing and conniving for everything we own. I just want to be able to do something different.
For example, I have two half-sisters. One from my dad and the other from my mom. Both of them are twenty years old and graduated in 2011. Neither of them had a job until this year. Neither of them have their driver's license. I don't want to be that. I love them to death, but... I'm scared of not making an impression.
I know office work isn't for me, but I also don't want to have to break my back every day of my life, just to get by. No one does, I suppose. Any-how, I want to be the difference made. That's what I want.
To do that, I want to be compassionate. I want to be an example. I want to be a diamond in the rough.
Not many people these days are honest or caring. That's what's wrong with the world. There's too much prejudice and heartache and cruelty and misery. Why can't we all just realize that we want the same thing? And the worst part is, we don't need money or power to get it.
We all want to be happy. We want to be secure. We all want to belong. We all want to feel wanted.
But instead of trying to make that better place, we take out our angers and frustrations in negative ways. I know it's easier said than done, but if we all simply tried to be better people, we could change the world.
Now, let's stop daydreaming. I know that's not ever going to happen. Hatefulness and crime are just characteristics of the world we live in. We live on for that matter. The Earth has it running through the soil. It's inescapable. We could downsize on the amount of it running through the streets, though.
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I've said all that to say this. I want to go into a career with animals. They are givers, not takers. They love unconditionally and know what it is to be honest and loyal; characteristics most modern-day humans lack.
Still, they somehow end up being cruelly treated or ignored. They're beaten, killed, and neglected. They don't have a voice to stand up for themselves. All they know is that they're being hurt and don't know why. That's the thing; there isn't a reason.
My best friend Katelin wants to become a vet. She's one of the few people at our school who kept that dream. Y'know, most little girls around here do want to become vets. I did. Then, they grow out of it. Katelin's the small percent that didn't. We've got this plan (I know plans don't always work out, but it's okay to dream). It's that we're going to attend Auburn University, if we can get in. We're working on her grades to get them up to par and we're asking around at animal shelters and vets offices' to see if we can get some volunteer hours in. Since Auburn University is in the top 15 and just so happens to be in our state, why not try to go there? I want to take veterinary sciences and criminal justice. I'll be a certified vet technician, but also have the credentials to investigate cruelty cases. That'll be my specialty. Since my dog was shot and the man was never caught, I want to help other victims of abuse and neglect.
Basically, Katelin and I will be in business together. Hopefully, we can start our own shelter/vet office and help the animals around here. They're usually kind of... forgotten. Most people don't see the importance of heart worm prevention or the threat that fleas pose. Or that fences aren't cruel- they're there to keep your dogs alive. I learned that the hard way, so I want to educate the community and stress the need for these items. Owning dogs isn't cheap and we all need to realize that.
Okay, so, there's my career choice. Vet technician/cruelty investigator. I also hope to adopt a few kids. Personally, I don't see the intrigue with giving birth. I do see why we do it. I see how the bond is with mother and child, but it just doesn't appeal to me. I guess I'm just odd.
The way I see it is, there are thousands and thousands of children out there without parents, so why not give it to them? Even if you want to have your own kids, make room for one adopted one! Do you know what a difference that would make in the world?
I want to (for sure) adopt a Native American orphan or one that's been taken by the state. Do you know how many minority children there are in America? It's insane! We're trying to help people in Africa and Asia (that's good and all) but there are starving and homeless children here in the United States! That needs to be fixed first. No questions asked. We can't help others if we're struggling ourselves. That's common sense.
Adopting kids has always been something I want to do and look forward to it when I'm older. Really and truly, "older" is coming up really quickly. Two years and I'll be out of high school. Four to six years after that, I'll be out of college. It is right around the corner... six to eight years and I'll be on my own, paying bills, and have a driver's license. That's scary. Can I cry and hug my stuffed unicorn now?
No, but seriously, it's terrifying, but exhilarating all at once. I hope I can really do all these things and more. Just keep dreaming and anything is possible. Don't let it break your heart and get you down. Just stand on top of all the pieces and build something greater!
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